Thursday, April 1, 2010

MAKING UP MY MIND

I started writing for myself about 15 years ago. At that time I had started three novels and a child’s book, contacted a writing instructor and editor and received very positive feedback from him. He was impressed, told me to do nothing but keep writing. I was not to take a class, not even his and not worry about the editing, not at this time anyway. Doing the editing would slow down my creative energy. He met with me a few times, to answer questions I had, and then I quit writing.

I got involved in my job and didn’t find a lot of time to write. When I did start up again, I called him and found out that he was no longer teaching or editing. He had a few writing assignments that he was involved with and building a house for his wife and her son was more than enough to keep him busy.

I sputtered, started and stopped with my writing and never made it into anything concrete. I did finish one novel, but was not really pleased with it, and let it go. I started several non-fiction pieces and even worked on scripts, nothing completed. Actually completing any of my writing meant that I needed to believe that what I was doing was really good. I also had to believe that I could and would give up working at a job. It became a real lack of confidence, even with the positive feedback from my editor.

IT’S WHAT I WANT

This time it’s different. I think it is because I feel more in control of what I want to do with my life. I know I have the talent to write, and now I intend to do something with this talent. Writing also has the potential to give me everything I want from freedom, independence, working from my home and setting my own schedule, to the possibility of earning an abundance of money.

I knew all this before, but I think I didn’t believe I could possibly make all this happen. Now I am taking a more realistic look at the way my life has been. It is a continuous line of degrading and miserable low-paying dead-end jobs. What I see is what I get.

In order to make this change I had to, without a doubt, make sure I understood this completely. I had to understand that I will never have what I want by working for someone else, not ever. It has helped that with the job I have now my hours have decreased so that I would not miss the income if I quit tomorrow.

WHAT I KNOW

I realize now that whatever I was told about not being enough, or not having what it takes were just words that my father repeated from his past. I understand this because even though my father said unkind things to me he also wanted the best for me. He wanted me to have the work that allowed me independence and wealth. I am willing to let go of the derogatory things he said. There are more than enough positive things that will give me the self-esteem boost I want, and remind me that my father and mother loved me.

IT’S A WRAP

I started writing again, because I never completely stopped. I was always making notes and writing in a tablet whether I was driving, at work or putting on make-up. I could continue this way or actually decide to do something with it. I decided that even though I had a full time job, I always woke up very early in the morning. This was the time that the world was quiet and even to this day I still write early in the morning. I’ve found that I am no longer rigidly set to writing just in the morning and will sit down to write anytime of the day.

I’ve made a promise that I will give myself the life I want and in order to do this I have to make changes to the way I think and the way I do things. My choices and the methods in which I plan to make a change are now a way of life for me. I no longer am wishy-washy in my thinking about ending my job, of knowing I will have to adapt to a different way of being paid, by results rather than hourly. It has become a way of believing in me and my abilities.

What do I want? Freedom, independence and wealth. I believe I have all this in being a writer. I believe that I have the courage, power and ability to make this happen for me.

I have had to rework the way I think about me. Instead of a woman who keeps everyone around me happy, I am the woman who makes me happy first of all and still have room for others. I will never have what I want or even what I need by working at a job for someone else. For me to be happy I must have freedom, independence and wealth, but I also must be happy and fulfilled. It is a package deal, but a package that I wrap for me.

A change can never happen if you don’t really want it. I not only want this change to take place I am also willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen. I can make this change only by believing that I deserve to have what I want, and also believing that I am worthy. I now have an editor, who is fabulous, working with me to fine-tune my writing.

Making a change is facilitated by making it a habit that you repeat constantly. I now mentally focus on my writing all day every day. I click on the delete button in my mind extinguishing all thoughts about my job and the people I work with. At this point my writing is in the limelight, brightly beaming and my job is fading into obscurity.

EXERCISE
  • What changes have you wanted to make, but never carried through?
  • Think of the messages that may have caused this pattern.
  • Allow yourself to forgive those in your past who may have discouraged you from achieving what you wanted.
  • Take control of the changes you want to make.

 

Sunday, March 28, 2010

BLOGGING TO MY HEART'S DESIRE

Here’s what I want you to do, engage with me, follow me, subscribe to my blog, or comment on posts that you enjoy or that you don’t enjoy.

It’s a process of attracting attention because I want to know how you feel about what I write. I write on experiences that I’ve had from a young child to my current self, some are harsh, some funny, but always hopefully interesting.

To know how I’m writing I depend on you. I need to know that I am making a difference and even though I may be, how can I know unless you show me. You can do this by engaging with me, subscribing, following me, and commenting on my posts.

I’d like to hear from like-minded people, to share resources and information. I’d like to know if what I am sharing with is helpful.

Blogging is such a delightful resource and those who do blog find that we are addicted to writing each post. I was unfamiliar with blogging when I first began, now I find that I’m still learning. The one thing that I am sure of is that I love it and I want to share and connect with those of you who feel the same way. Or those of you who still wonder what this blogging world is about and those of you who have just begun, and are just getting your feet wet.

So join all of us who are new to this world of writing. Here’s how:

To Comment on a Post (let me and others know what you think about what you’ve read)

1. Click the “comments” link at the bottom of the post you would like to comment on.

2. Click the down arrow next to the “comment as” box, and choose the account you would like to sign in with, or choose “Anonymous.”

3. Write your thoughts in the “Post a Comment” box, then click “Post a Comment.”

4. If you have selected “Anonymous,” you will be directed to a screen to type in some letters so my blog will know you are a person and not a computer.

5. If you have selected to sign in, you will be directed to a screen to sign in with that account, and then to the screen to type in the letters.

6. Then click “Post Comment.” Once I review your comment, it will be posted for all to see.

7. Just a couple of house rules: keep it clean and be respectful to others.

To Subscribe to Glimmer (conveniently receive posts as e-mail messages)

1. At the top of the blog, to the right, there is a light green box. Where it says “Subscribe Via E-mail,” enter your e-mail address, and click “Subscribe.”

2. You will begin to receive my posts as e-mail messages. Read them and enjoy!

3. Don’t forget to visit the blog every now and then to post a comment (see above).

To Become a Follower of Glimmer (let me and others know you appreciate my blog)

1. Scroll down the page until you see the “Followers” section in the dark green right-hand column.

2. Click on “Follow.”

3. Click one of the icons to sign in with an account you already have, or click on the “Create a New Google Account” link to create a new one.

4. You will be directed to a form. Complete the form.

5. On the next screen, click “Follow This Blog.”

6. On the following screen, click “Done.”