Friday, February 5, 2010


It happened many years ago when I was a teenager. My age and inexperience didn’t stop me. First, I should explain that my parents were much older when I was born, so for me, I sometimes thought of them as my grandparents.

In this particular instance I had gone with my parents so that my father could buy a new car. He insisted on buying a new car every two to three years and it was now time.

Having decided which car he wanted we sat down at the salesman’s desk to finalize the deal. I remember the salesman telling my father about all the gadgets that he could get on the car, and with each gadget the price was going up.


I sat quietly, listening intently to every word that the salesman said, until something in me bubbled over or maybe it just exploded. The price kept going up and the gadgets were unnecessary and my parents were about to say yes when I interrupted their conversation with an adamant no.

I, stood up and not so quietly, told the salesman exactly what I thought of him and his sales tactics. I knew that my parents did not need everything he was trying to sell them, nor did they need to pay the exorbitant amount that the cost had risen to. I knew it wasn’t right.

After my explosion my parents and I left the building. Honestly, I don’t know where this outburst came from, but I felt I had to protect them.


Definitely the salesman was in a place of authority and used it to his advantage. This was his job, this is what he was paid to do. I don’t feel anyone of authority has the right to take advantage of another person who for whatever reason, does not or cannot stand up for themselves. I felt this way then and I still do.

My intuition, my inner self or whatever you want to call it seems to innately know when someone is being taken advantage of. Even at that young age. I protected my parents, my children and animals from anyone who intends to do them wrong.

When I recall this incident, I think of how my parents may have felt. Maybe they thought I was out of line, but I did it. I couldn’t change it and I wouldn’t have, not then and not now.

I felt they needed to be protected, because they were getting ready to sign on the dotted line. They seemed to not see what the salesman was doing and I didn’t want them to end up with a very expensive bad deal. This was also at the time that my father may have been at the beginning stage of some health issues. Did that influence his decision making? Maybe, but nevertheless it still was not right.


We left that dealership and went to another where my parents did purchase a new car that we drove home in. Did the salesman try to take advantage of them? No. Were my parents upset with me? No. They thanked me for helping them and I felt proud and powerful. I knew when I spoke up that I was doing the right thing. I can use my voice to make changes.

The one thing I learned about myself is that I do have the innate ability to make powerful and wise suggestions to others. You see, this wasn’t planned. I did not leave the house thinking that I would have to watch over my parents and make sure they will not be pressured or cheated. I acted on what was happening in that moment.

  • Have you been in a precarious situation in which you knew you needed to say something?
  • List the times you knew you should have said something, but didn’t.
  • Would you do differently now?

Monday, February 1, 2010


When I was a little girl, I carried a small block of wood in my pocket to remind me that I was a blockhead. That is how severe my belief was in what my father thought I was. That block of wood was shorthand for the word that I then took on as part of my identity. I knew I was smart and creative, but my ideas did not conform to my father’s. The fact that we were both strong willed did not help and often he became frustrated with me, thus the name calling.

I lost my sense of center, my belief in becoming whom I wanted to be. I came away from my relationship with my parents believing I wasn’t good enough for everything I wanted in life. I believed I did not have what it took to create that life for myself.

Starting at the age of 18, I made some bad choices. Rather than improving, the conditions of my life only got worse. For a long time, I ignored the impact these choices were having, and continued to blindly pursue activities that were not in alignment with who I really was. For example, I continued to work in jobs for which I had no passion. I ignored how important money would become.


While recognizing that work has the ability to provide freedom, independence and wealth, I have also seen that working for someone else can be limiting. That is why I made the commitment to become self-reliant and truly free, independent, and prosperous. I’m trying to have freedom and have control over my life instead of just letting my life happen. I consistently work at making better choices.

For me, the path to this self-reliance is writing. I’ve determined that I want to feel passion toward my work, to work from my home, to schedule my own time, to have freedom and independence and to be independently wealthy for the rest of my life. With writing as my work I can have all of this.


I have committed to leaving behind the pattern of blaming others. Blaming any situation or someone or something is ineffectual, and leaves me feeling even more hopeless. By taking command of my life-the good and the bad-I have options and I have a sense of control.


I have learned that changing words and thoughts also changes feelings and thus begins the process of action toward goals. So, instead of “blockhead,” each day I bring to mind words like “artist,” “creativity,” “passion,” “freedom,” and “choice.” As I continue on this journey, I will continue to chart my path by carefully choosing my words.


  • State your goals and desires in a positive, present, matter-of-fact manner. For example, “I am a self-employed engineer working from my home, with many clients who always pay on time.” This will bring about results as long as these goals and desires are consistent with your abilities, talents and intelligence.
  • Be consistent in your desires and abilities. Repeat them to yourself several times each day. This is mandatory to getting the results that you want.
  • Forgive yourself for past choices. As long as you are attached to the choices you made in the past, you will always live by them.